nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
