i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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