I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to calm my uterus...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
