her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I could fuck to npr.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize