I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
