There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
