Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
