Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
