his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
