i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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