you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
