yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
