butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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