I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
