You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
