just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
