We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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