I am spending my child support on dildos
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
