It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
