I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
