I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
