Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
