Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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