thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
