I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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