the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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