last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
