Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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