Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
