My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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