CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
