Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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