i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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