Got a toothbrush?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
