Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
tell me about the fingering
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
