I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
