When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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