the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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