There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
