Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
