Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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