She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
