just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
