i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
