I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
