My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
