Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
