Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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