take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
