My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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