like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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